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Part of the opening is Laurie and Doug giving decorating advice to a spankingporn.vip while-shifted Pilgrims. Fortunately, the Pilgrims are solely actors, as a result of real Pilgrims would probably have the decorating duo in the pillory with their ears nailed to the wooden. Laurie's violating dress codes (circa 1620) and Doug is, let's be honest here, Doug. If they didn't discover something to hate after one or two episodes they wouldn't be making an attempt exhausting sufficient. That is followed by a shot of Amy Wynn and one other Pilgrim sawing a log with a two-particular person noticed whereas Ty tries to look busy. Ty suggests a cordless saw. Well, that is form of what it is already. The trenches: The room Doug shall be abusing is a kitchen/dining-room/dwelling-room combo. Which is, to my eyes, gaudy and cramped. And these items is new? Cripes. Homeowners: Tina and James. Laurie's sufferer room is a long but not terrible-wanting living room. Its most important drawback is that it appears, effectively, actually actually lived-in. But I'm being polite. I do not like it a lot, both. Homeowners: John and Barbie. (A blonde named Barbie. They're all blondes, aren't they?) They even have canines, so Barbie does not want anything "too fancy", as a result of she has animals. You bought Laurie in there, you recognize that? I'd drive this automotive into a wall if it weren't for the other folks on the street! Ah, Laurie and Doug go purchasing. Laurie, being the great individual she is, is backseat driving, saying she is aware of how one can get to Beacon Hill. She follows this up by proclaiming to the first set of ears she sees (an antiques supplier) that Doug's driving shouldn't be up to par. She also gets the vapours (at the least, that is what it looked like) when telling the dealer that she's accountable for half a hundred grand in money. Antique dealer instantly tries to sell her every thing in arm's reach. He is aware of his customers, that's for certain. You've watched this present before... proper? Ah, one of the homeowners has already talked about that she needs to keep her beloved floor. And already I hear both carpenters speaking about their Designing Overlords changing the ground. It's already shaping as much as be a daily day at the races. Decadent: Within the means of ethical or bodily decay. Laurie buys a $2,800 chair and squeals that she's "sooooooooo decadent!" She also mentions that she has carte blanche, "Nobody to carry me accountable!" for what she does. (Calls up a screencap of the homeowners.) Yep, it is simply a daily day on the races, all proper. Ads with out the commercials: Only Ty, Amy Wynn, and a camera crew might walk into a house Depot and get assist instantly. Ty, ever the gentleman, asks to be helped discover the bathroom. Ty-dor the Burninator: Ty (who, driving a toy car in one other scene, spun out) supposedly blocked the fireplace lane of the house Depot he went to. Math time: if the wooden he's taking a look at (and wincing about the value) is $529 per square foot, and there's about one hundred square ft in the shop, how a lot will the lawsuit for just that lumber be if the place burns down? Ad executives. They execute adverts. Through the business, we see Sony Vega ad number one. Do not forget that. The Perkinator: Paige explains the principles, and looks to be about to burst before she mentions the $100,000. When she does mention it, there's much excitement and Barbie accuses Paige of being "filled with it". In case you imply stuffed with perkiness, you are proper. Meanwhile, Tina's vocabulary has devolved into "Stop it! Stop it!" I died in your arms tonight: Laurie, ever the master of the delicate, tells the newly-arrived homeowners that she is "Dying, I'm dying for you!" Evidently Tina doesn't need Laurie dead - in opposition to the wishes of a few viewers members, one would assume - because she continues her litany of "Stop it!" in between different, extra significant, phrases. Laurie also claims she's shaking, and she holds out her hand and shakes it to prove it. (Holds out hand and shakes it.) Damn, so am I. Hard to kind with one hand, although. Gender mirrors: Both male homeowners seemed reluctant to join their wives in the massive Excited Designer Hug. Don't they make sauce? Product placement alert: Doug's putting in Pergo floors. Crooooooooooooooowbar! Tina and James attempt to pry their neighbor's Tv out of an armoire, however it's wedged in tight. Much endeavoring finally frees it of its moorings. My evil side wanted to see them use a crowbar, but they did not, I suppose as a result of it's, you already know, a bigass costly Tv. Damn, the destruction quotient shall be surprisingly low this episode. Meanwhile, Doug unloaded some new cabinets. Woo! They'll destroy the previous cabinets! No one can use outdated cabinets! Woo! Grrr! Hulk indignant! Hulk run fingers though hair and sigh and say Hulk is confused! Laurie will, she claims, have a serious hissy fit if the carpet is glued. It is not, so we're saved a music and dance, and instead subjected to a music and dance about putting down maple floors. She's shaking her hands once more too, however with both palms. (Tries it.) TYPUNG WITGH Nose HARDF.L. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrybar! Mark, Nathan, and John. No, they're not apostles, they're Doug's group of pleasant Home Depot Product Placement At-Home Services helpers. Wow, between the extendible pointer stick he is been using to level at things, the name "Operation Sophistication", and his army of builders, he will be carrying a basic's outfit for the designer chat at the end of the episode. They've additionally received a pry bar! MANLY DESTRUCTION TIME! Airhead vs. Gasbox: Laurie (to her vast and abyssal disappointment) cannot change the gasbox fireplace, as it might take too long. Given the shoddy-work horror stories you hear from some former Trading Spaces victims homeowners, I'm wondering at replacing it anyway. I can see the headlines now: "Plymouth obliterated in fireball. Homeland Security looking Al-Qaeda agent codenamed 'Laurie Smith'." Drawer Wars: Okay, first the 'Amy Wynn and Ty fight for the router bit device drawer' gags have been funny, however they rapidly obtained severely creepy. I don't even need to know what the hell's happening with those boxer-brief-like abominations Ty whipped out - Is that a thing to make it look like your ass is hanging out? - but I'd like to have phrases with somebody over it. Painful phrases. Though I'm wondering at Amy Wynn's qualifier that this is the first time she and Ty have crossed paths "as carpenters". I'm secretly hoping it signifies that the subsequent Trading Spaces spinoff will likely be Trading Spaces: Highlander. You already know, Amy Wynn's strolling down a dark alley, then there's that bizarre sound as Ty steps out of the shadows, they've a flashback to this scene, then they pull out swords and try to hack one another's heads off. (If it ever happens, my prayers are with Amy Wynn. Oh, wait, I'm agnostic. Okay, my vitriolic words of hatred are with Ty, then.) Heeeeeeere we are, born to be kings.... Well, I assume this Amy Wynn vs. Ty arm wrestling is as shut as I'm going to get to an epic battle at the top of which there might be just one. Paige breaking it up is hardly epic, as effectively. Spank me, I have been a foul dangerous boy.... Paige took to slapping guys on the ass this episode. First was Ty (though she missed and bought him closer to the kidney) when he made a remaining play for Amy Wynn's device drawer. It must have been spontaneous, else I'm certain Ty's scriptwriter (he should have one, no model-turned-carpenter could suppose up this much dialogue) would have put in some cheap-shot remark about having fun with the spanking. Her second victim was a homeowner, John (who's working with Doug), but she appeared to imply it as encouragement as he walks off digicam to do some work. He seemed to take it as encouragement, as I heard an off-camera "Woo-hoo!" just some seconds after the slap. I presume the delay was John rapidly checking to confirm that Paige, not Doug, had slapped him. I'm so disenchanted I wish to bust up one thing! They didn't bust up the cabinets. Paige is as disillusioned as I am. Seems that John, not content with getting his dwelling carried out as he works here, is taking the cabinets for his garage. Aww, boo. Recyclers be DAMNED! On tonight's Trading Spaces, Ty helps Laurie get in touch together with her internal pimp: A minimum of, that is what it looks like as he provides her his pimp-flavah massive "$$$" ring and matching greenback-sign neck weight during their dialogue of the new mantle for the fireplace. "Yeah, simply cowl your wedding ceremony ring with that." Evidently he's not attempting to make her seem like a single madam as much as externalizing her want to spend and spend and spend. Well, he is on the right track then. I simply did not understand that Laurie's internal desires appeared so much like a homey wit' bling-bling. There's acquired to be therapy for that. Evidently, the bling-bribe was enough to blank Laurie's thoughts of excellent ideas: Ty gets to design the entertainment heart. It cantilevers. Sounds fascinating. Though, if a brand new viewer tuned in whereas he was describing it intimately and how it'll tie into the room, they'd be wondering why the designer's sporting a software belt and who the girl in the gaudy jewelry is. Oh captain my captain: Doug's acquired a warfare room set up. I tell ya, he's going to be Four-Star General Doug before that is over. Oh my God, he is obtained a wall-sized chart. And Paige is calling it brilliant. For Hastur's sake, do not encourage him! He's also summoned Mark, an electrician, from the misty deep. His military is expanding with every passing minute; earlier than long no mortal will be able to stop his reign. The electrician is going to put in lights (recessed fixtures) across the fireplace. Wait a minute, that's Mark the electrician, John the homeowner, and Mark, Nathan, and John the unrelated three-man Home Depot collective. Man, this goes to get confusing. No, it is not yellow. It is a darkish mild off-off-yellow. Laurie first seems to be admitting to the fact that her paint palette is, properly, restricted. "You understand, I try to idiot everyone, and it's like... naaaah." Yellow. It may be yellow. "I don't see this coloration as boring. It's a fantastic rich colour and I'm utilizing the incorrect instrument to strive get the can prime off with...." No, you're utilizing the suitable device flawed. I can see the lid shifting virtually an inch off the can on the far side. Because the paint stirrer she's using is simply going to get covered in paint anyway, she should simply stick it in the can at the boundary between the open a part of the lid and the stuck half, and twist. As she reveals the paint - which is yellow - she fires the first salvo in her regular battle over the precise shade. "I comprehend it appears to be like more yellow there" - That's because it's yellow! - "but it dries a really type of earthen...." An earthen yellow possibly? James seems to have seen the present earlier than, as he mumbles one thing that sounds like "It dries...." like he's going to say "It dries yellow." but trails off. Laurie, undaunted by my muttered insults and James's nebulous feedback, continues. "It's known as 'Chestertown Buff'." Feels like a porn star. Our Yellow Du Jour has 37 ends in Google, it is so popular. Laurie paints some on the blue wall, so we will all see the glory of not-yellow that she's seeing. On the wall, it seems yellow. So yellow, in reality, that even she's compelled to admit it. "And on this blue, it is wanting really yellow." No, my expensive, it isn't the blue that is making it yellow, it is the yellow that is making it yellow. Tina tries to be consoling and compromising. I do not suppose she's seen a lot of this show earlier than, then. She says "I believe Barbie wished yellow. I mean, we are able to say yellow, okay? We will say buff, but it's yellow." But Laurie's not completed yet, no sir. After closing her eyes (to avoid the damning yellow proof, I presume) and tensing up like she's just stepped into one thing disgusting, she says "No, but it isn't yellow! Eeeee!* Let me go get the swatch; that is gonna drive me crazy, it is not y'all." (*To translate that "Eeee!" into written English: That's "Eeee!" as in "Eeee! That is unpleasant!" not "Eeee! A MOUSE!" or "Eeee! We're completed!" A bad, but not scary, eeee.) Tina, getting sick of Laurie's avoidance of the painting (and the writing) on the wall, factors on the yellow and says "Laurie, yellow." as if she was introducing them to each other. I'm pondering they're going to wish to add a tenth circle to Hell simply to accommodate the dangerous Trading Spaces designers. Another one! Doug has hired an "artisan" named Ron. Doug explains how he hires art teams to do inventive work for all his excessive end purchasers. I'm sure that can put Barbie at ease, once she goes dwelling and learns that Laurie hasn't hired anyone so far and is burning time arguing about yellow. Speaking of which.... And one other one of those too.... For each hired hand Doug summons, Laurie has an insistence that it isn't frickin' yellow. (Not that she'd ever use such words herself, no....) Paige has appeared to echo Laurie's sentiment that it that it needs two coats. However, Paige says they want it simply to ensure it is really, surprise surprise, yellow. I wonder on the wonderful precision with which Laurie reaches the end of the sentence "It's Chestertown Buff, it isn't..." just as Paige chimes in with "And it seems to be..." so Paige and the homeowners' shout of "Yellow!" concurrently drowns out Laurie and ends her sentence. Laurie, in response, throws a miniature foot-stamping tantrum. "No it isn't, it is BUFF!" She follows this with a giggle, which jogs my memory of a Usenet troll who follows a flame with a smiley face, so you can by no means quite inform if he is insulting or simply tactless. I do hope her one-12 months-outdated son Gibson is watching, he'll learn some great suggestions for being a brat just by watching Mommy! Then we'll see a toddler robust enough to hoist his mother together with her personal petard. Ahhh! Prison of love flashback! No, it is not fairly brown-gray sufficient, but Ron explains they'll be placing a blue-grey plasterish/paintish product on the walls, which will then be speckled with the identical stuff to make a textured wall. Doug does the primary coat (using a roller), then Barbie does the speckling (utilizing a brush). The speckling looks good. Paige fault: Laurie seems to have conveniently forgotten that $1000 of her funds (she thankfully has $1500 left, I was so nervous) goes to Paige, to take a homeowner purchasing for the "Paige Gift", an merchandise of the homeowner's alternative that the designer will have to make use of in the room. My suggestion to Tina and James: $A thousand of vivid inexperienced paint, or one in all the other colours Laurie can not use as a important point of her designs. Oh, and a can of stock-customary yellow, just for comparability functions. Laurie, feeling the money slipping out of her fingers, bites her finger in thought about learn how to spend her final $500 earlier than Paige grabs it. Apparently, Paige already has some ideas about the place to take the homeowners procuring. She says it's to Laurie's liking. Laurie ain't shopping for it. Where's the pink-hot eye poker? Or the cyanide? The going-to-industrial bumper was a shot of Ty smothering Amy Wynn with the creepy boxer shorts. Within the immortal phrases of A.K. Swift: "Watch me vomit!" Speaking of vomiting.... Sony Vega ad number two. Remember that. Oh, and doesn't the ditty in the background of the "E-Bay bidding" Earthlink ad sound like the Moon Patrol theme? The Howling: Tina and James speak about how lucky their neighbors are to be scoring all-new furniture. (And your outdated cabinets, sister.) Tina, however, mentions that they have a big ol' "Marmaduke" dog (That is the sort of animals they've?) that was allowed on the outdated furnishings. Oh, I'm positive that $2,800 chair goes to have high resale value when, as an alternative of one thing like Laurie's dainty little hips, it will have a giant mass of slobbering dogflesh parked on it. And don't forget no matter fabric Laurie's got in mind for this room.... James wants to sink their $1000 reward into an excellent gate. Meanwhile, Paige springs her Paige Gift on John and Barbie. I discover she doesn't stress the "Has to make use of it in the room." factor. Or indeed, even have Doug round. Ty vs. Ty: A shot of Amy Wynn. Something sails in from off-camera and hits her, eliciting an "Ow! That one hurt!". I was sure it was Ty, but instead it is Doug proving he generally is a bastard, too. Doug is getting Amy Wynn to make a table. The desk of her goals. Dougie boy, the desk of her desires is prefab. Though she does caress that wooden really lovingly. Hordes of men watching wish to be that wooden. The table will be six by three in mahogany and maple. Amy Wynn guarantees to have the constructing of it accomplished tonight, so it may be completed up tomorrow - evidently the crew doesn't have the planer wanted to sort out the job. Doug's army of teamsters vs. Laurie's seamster: Finally, Laurie's first sign of hired help, Daniel, appears. Or, more accurately, Laurie drags Tina into the dank basement-cum-sweatshop the place she's trapped the poor man. He's a "skilled 'stitcher', is what the correct lingo is for a man". So, what is it for a girl? A stitchress? A stitchrix? A stitchrice? Or may it probably be a 'stitcher' as nicely? It all sounded like she was stressing that he was a man. He's a man, we could tell, he seems like one, he can sew, big deal, let's transfer on. Tina has been taken into the dungeons so she will iron. Appliances are better than entertainment: Doug speaks to the homeowners about their Paige reward. They're leaning more towards house entertainment, surround sound, etc. Doug is steering them towards kitchen appliances. Did the man not finances for them, or what...? Dougby and Pokey: Doug is still tapping and poking at things along with his little pointer, from Amy Wynn's wood to the cabinets. He's also demanding to be saluted by his Home Depot costs, now. One of the house Depot people, who I'm calling MarkNathanorJohn, mentions (at Doug's repeated proddings for a realistic ETA on getting the cabinets executed) that it'll be just a few hours "so long as we don't have any extra interruptions". Doug asks MarkNathanorJohn if he is implying that Doug is an interruption. MarkNathanorJohn denies it, however homeowner John turns quisling and says that MarkNathanorJohn is indeed implying that. Looks like John's jockeying for the position of Trusted Lieutenant. So Laurie carries a headshot of Doug with her wherever she goes? Well, at the least it is not a headshot of Frank.... Laurie is hiding her face behind a monochrome headshot of Doug (very enticing picture, I must admit, in that noncommittal guy manner of admitting one other man looks hunky). She's doing this as part of a fancy and solely nonscripted subterfuge focusing on stealing Doug's electrician away to do her electrics work. The gag, while drained, is not as dangerous because it sounds as a result of this is all shot via the Paige Cam. Laurie, who normally appears to be like a minimum of kind of cute, tends to appear to be a fish on the Paige Cam. For many of this Paige Cam second, we will not see her face. Consider all of the unborn nuts that died for this mantle! Ty has busted out a brand new walnut wood mantle for Laurie (from a photo of a similar mantle). Laurie says that, despite the haste, it's probably the most lovely thing she's ever seen. Well, use good wood as an alternative of MDF, that happens. Also, working with the Banyan emblem looming over him probably reminds him of his evil company masters. You do not displease the evil company masters, for they are refined and fast to downsize. I, for one, welcome my evil company masters! It's the damn common they appointed I've problems with: Amy Wynn speaks to the Paige Cam for a second on how, regardless of only working on one house, it feels like 4 due to all that's going on. She additionally fondles the wooden once more. Mahogany. I'd fondle it too. Doug seems to have strange ideas. Doug wants to stain the mahogany black. I do know nothing about wood, but Amy Wynn (getting stressed over the whole affair) feels like she's heading in the right direction when she explains the next: Doug needs the wooden darkish, but would not seem to be thinking that finishing it'll darken it to start with. Staining it as well as is simply going to make it seem like they painted it black. The wood grain will likely be misplaced within the blackness. Doug's ears do not seem to be burning red throughout this: He's together with his electrician as the fellow installs the last of the halogen ceiling lights. Doug plays with the dimmer a bit. Maybe he can sense the approach of immortals: Ty, sensing James's method, turns and greets him without any apparent cues that James needs to be there. For his subsequent trick, he will get James to noticed a piece of wooden. Ty then goes on to indicate Laurie his sketchbook page dedicated to the cocktail desk he is doing. I'm glad that the digicam angle allows us to see inside the sketchbook and confirm it is a picture of a desk: Laurie gasps with such depth at the sketch that, if we could not see it, we'd surprise what else Ty's been sketching. Appliances are better than entertainment redux: So this is why Doug does not want his folks spending their $1,000 Paige Gift money on entertainment. There's a Sony Vega 42 inch plasma Tv sitting in a trailer outdoors. Surround sound, pc that's integrated with the whole mess if Doug is to be believed, the entire shebang. How good's the security on these shoots, and any thought if they're doing another $100,000 episode? John's thought on the packing containers of expensive know-how? "Good factor this is going to James, 'trigger I wouldn't be capable to figure it out." (Blink. Blink.) Come ON! You're a guy! Tv-related toys and the obtaining thereof are a point of honor for many males! You need to be in your knees praying for one in every of this stuff! You sissy! In fact, I would not need one both, I'd rather a bigass monitor for my 3.06 GHz Pentium field, however I admit my sissiness. And my geekiness. This promo of kinds was, all in all, a convenient approach to do an in-present Sony Vega plug to match those we have seen twice thus far in the ad blocks. In unrelated news, apparently John "won the coin toss" (which was additionally off-camera... hmm) and is going out with Paige to hunt down the elusive Paige Gift. Barbie is upset that she has to stay home while her husband will get to go out with Paige. Good factor she missed the ass-slapping and the "Woo-hoo!" a while again, else she'd be more than just upset. I also discover that John will not be so worried about his spouse staying house with Doug and all these burly Home Depot building staff. Oh ye of a lot religion. Add an ad rant: I don't like screaming infants in adverts. But this Stainmaster Carpet one actually will get me: Daddy places his incessantly screaming child on the carpeted flooring whereas he grabs a stuffed animal. Baby falls asleep instantly. As they plug the consolation of the carpet, a disclaimer fades in at the bottom of the display screen: "It's endorsed infants not sleep on their stomachs." As somebody watching with me said: "It is suggested babies not sleep on their stomachs, but this one isn't ours so we don't give a damn." Zoooom! The present roars again with a shot of Ty driving a souped-up golf cart, shouting to female pedestrians*, and passing a van reading "The (Something) of Mark Connolly". (*The sound has been muted for the musical back-from-commercial sting, so I do not know what he says.) Kid in a sweet shop time: Laurie's so glad about one thing that she has both James and a digicam crew in tow as she approaches it. It is a truck. Within the truck is furnishings. And on the furniture is... fabric! Laurie expresses her love for the fabric, and begins caressing the first piece seen via the shipping plastic. She continues by giving a plug to the furniture maker and explaining how she selected the fabric for the furnishings. (In fact she wouldn't settle for inventory upholstering!) She lovingly particulars, with appropriate closeups, how the yellow in one piece ties in to the yellow of one other piece. Question: Why are these two pieces of furniture lined in pale yellow and yellow/acid inexperienced stripes, when the walls are, by Laurie's insistence, not yellow in any respect? Why are the chairs not Chestertown Buff? Or camel? Or any of one in every of Laurie's odd paint names? Why? Because she loses herself in the outline of the fabric and doesn't catch herself utilizing the forbidden word.... YELLOW! The prices she quotes, at James' request? $4900 for the sofa, $4200 for the love seat, $3900ish for a chair, and somewhere between $1600 and $2600 (Laurie's lost depend) each for 2 different chairs. Custom fabrics have their price. Doug abuses the peons and appeases his masters: During Laurie's furnishings lovefest, we minimize away for the following bits: 1) Amy Wynn reveals her progress on the desk to Doug. They argue in regards to the completion time, ending with Amy Wynn's "Fifteen (minutes) AND You are not STAINING IT!" 2) Doug and his pointing stick meet with MarkNathanorJohn. MarkNathanorJohn explains how they're putting in the new cabinets and how he simply, as a result of he is a nice man, knocked collectively a bit of conduit so a floor vent that was useless beneath the previous floor cupboards will now redirect out into the kitchen. Doug says how a lot he loves MarkNathanorJohn's work. The gods of Home Depot smile and nod and see it is nice. They promise to give Doug one other slave to push round. 3) Amy Wynn shows Barbie the way to do mitered edges with a chop saw. Get transferring or I'll plant another one in your ass! Paige and her slapping pal John are off to blow $1000. And so they're off in a stretch limo. Paige notices that John appears nonchalant about the limo and the $one thousand cash Paige is brandishing. After all he's, he's bought Paige within the backseat with him and he's therefore mechanically kicked into "suave" mode. I imply, Paige within the backseat of a limo with plenty of cameras, what extra might a guy want? For the remainder of this buying journey, I'm calling John "Spanky". Ty exhibits extra of his sketchings to ladies: Tina's learning in regards to the desk that makes Laurie gasp. Tina, in contrast, is gasp-free. Meanwhile, Barbie's not an apt pupil at Amy Wynn's chop saw. The blade stops halfway through a chunk of wooden and the machine begins screaming like a banshee with its leg in a bear lure. Amy Wynn has Barbie cease and explains what happens when you place too much drive on the handle. Barbie, supposedly wiser for the lesson, then starts up once more and the screeching begins again. Reacting to the "too much power" screeching, she puts each arms on the handle and starts utilizing twice as a lot force as earlier than. Now commences Amy Wynn shouting "TURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFF!" over the blade's unholy rasp. The blade off, she calmly (I do not know the way) says "You've bought my noticed a little bit indignant." Well, the noticed might be offended, but I do not think it's the saw that's in all probability seeing visions of twisting this Barbie doll's head until it comes off. Ty packs his wooden and Tina into a car to go on a quest for heavier hardware facilities. Guy doing gal things: Shh, it's a Best Buy. Shhhh! Paige and Spanky arrive at a Best Buy, a undeniable fact that is only apparent for those who see the reflected emblem and the occasional in-store sign. I'm guessing they didn't pay enough advert dollars. Now, we see Spanky's fantasies about going out with Paige dashed hopelessly against the rocks of reality. While she is a girl, and he a man, there's still something separating them: She's a woman, and he is a man. A lady and a man who are shopping. Paige begins to mull over the relative advantages between a toaster and a toaster-oven, while Spanky simply wants to seize the first thing that looks like a toaster and go. Paige, being the great hostess, offers in simpler than any self-respecting lady ever ought to. Gal doing guy things: She's out with Ty. Shhhh! While on their discipline trip to the Magic Land of Big Routers, Ty - referring to himself within the third individual - corrects Tina's misconceptions of a high-tech router, which he claims isn't so very similar to a "funky saw" (in Tina's phrases) as it is like the Terminator. Insert your California recall joke here. However, Ty shortly defers to the Keeper of the Router for more advanced information. On this the Keeper fails, mainly regurgitating Ty's phrases however with extra jargon and less action film references. Guy doing gal things, half 2: It's a bust. And cease taking a look at Paige's! Paige declares the procuring trip "a bust". Now we know Best Buy didn't pay much. But Spanky has an concept! A Playstation for the children! Imagine enjoying that on the bigscreen Tv! Paige says, "Oh, dude, you're thinking!" What he hasn't thought of is that there is going to be a holy struggle over that Tv when the parents need to observe cable and the children want to play Crash Bandicoot. Gal doing man issues, half 2: What-what-WHAT? Ty discusses something with Tina over the router noise. It sounds to me like "I feel the goowa bafudgeit! 'Cuz I fava mudgeit! Az az an attractive thing!" Tina responds with "Take a walk all the way down to my home subsequent!" I feel Ty's talking about how you may make lovely issues with a large price range. Nepotism! Doug has hired an outdated coworker (effectively, an old supervisor, I think - Doug used to work in his shop) named Chris to assist Amy Wynn do some wainscoting work. Doug kisses Amy Wynn to speed up the work. Chris declines the same boon. That's a lovely wainscoat: So, of two pronunciations of 'wainscoting' I present in all of the dictionaries I checked and one I found only in a few, they went for the rarer one. Okay, nice. I hear "Postal 2" is really good. Let's get that. Ah, the wonders of choosing a sport to go together with the PS2. After Paige and her pal present their incompetence at enjoying, Spanky grabs a recreation and says "This appears to be like like a child's sport." An extremely scientific option to do it, in comparison with, say, the rating. Paige says it appears to be like more like a child's game than, say, (Paige grabs semirandom title) "this". Some rewinding and fastforwarding later and that i realized it was Everquest! Bwa-ha-ha! An awesome plug for the Evercrack Elven Princess and her twin Boobs of Fanboy Attraction +5! Paige, pleased about their reasoned selection of sport, lets out a scream. Little doubt the opposite prospects, who I'm certain are even now being held in the far aspect of the store by TLC security goons, have been glad to hear her whoop of ecstasy. Lil' Miss Eloi visits her pet Morlock: Laurie gasps, both as a result of her basement stitcher has finished the gold table skirts he was doing, or because the Paige whoop within the last scene deafened her. "Oh, it is so great!" Definitely the skirt, then. Seeing one finished, with yellow-gold topper fabric, elicits an extra half-moaned "Oh, that's lovely." I stated it, there's an orgasmically joyous squeal coming up. Are they wearing seatbelts? With 770 dollars left after shopping for the PS2 - It was solely $230 after taxes, with a recreation? - Paige and Spanky talk about their next cease. Spanky, clearly making an attempt to recall the line from reminiscence, says: "What about Home Depot has a... a... home store!* Home Style... store! And it's all high-end appliances... uh, or hello-excessive-finish** issues for your own home." He then provides a hastily-mumbled, "We can go there." *Paige quietly starts to immediate him earlier than he catches himself. **He provides the PS2 field he's holding a slap to emphasize his level - or his frustration - right here. Poor Spanky, Paige is making you're employed to your new cabinets. In all fairness, though, Paige's angst-ridden look, supposedly as she was weighing benefits of the 20 minute one-method journey to the house Depot store, followed by a desperate "STEP ON IT!" to the limo driver, was solely nominally more genuine and much more annoying than Spanky's hack job on the house Depot line. In one other dimension, Doug pushes "Barbie Doll" into some sewing, so she "steps on it" and zips through about $5 of the 75-greenback-a-yard silk curtains straight away. Doug admonishes her and speaks menacingly of messing up 300 dollars in silk. Now all Barb has to do is tick off Paige and she'll have aggravated all the holy trinity of Designer, Carpenter, and the Perky Host. Poor girl, tv life is not treating her effectively in any respect. Though, if Doug's utilizing 75-greenback-a-yard silk for drapes, what's Laurie going to do to trump him? $200 per yard? And one other thought: If Doug's so worried concerning the silk, why's he drinking right over it? Meanwhile, with the competent female homeowner.... Ty, now again at the home, takes a break from the cocktail table of routing wonders to show Tina how his grasp plan on the shelving system goes. After a lot moaning and groaning, he fits the leisure center shelving system into place on the longer term wall mount. They do not precisely slide as a lot as they can be yanked out of place and stuck right into a barely different horizontal place. But hey, higher to have a snug fit than to have all your CDs fall out of the shelf. He additionally called down the routing magic on the shelving system, to make fine horizontal grooves into which CD jewel cases fit. Tina reiterates her want to get Ty in her house. Then he says "Are you loopy? There's no room for me over there!" Oh, great. Now Tina knows in regards to the Legions of Doug ravaging the land while she was locked in the basement with a stitcher. I went to the World Expo in Montreal. It was means cooler than this. Paige and Spanky pull up in entrance of the Expo Design Center. I thought they had the fallacious place until I saw the relatively tiny writing "A house Depot Company" underneath the name. Between his manly shopping approach and his admitted lack of expertise skill, he goes for the blender that, as Paige says, simply has an on and off change. My blender's older than I'm and it has extra options than that. We now pause for a break from the Spank & Mindy present. Back home, Barbie is indignant (heh heh) that Paige and Spanky are off having enjoyable. Doug turns the screws a bit about the money, the limo, Paige.... Hey, I'd relatively him off in a limo with Paige and a thousand dollars than him off alone in a limo with a thousand dollars. Paige is not a lady now, she's a girl who's procuring. Whole 'nother being proper there. She's about as sexy as a useless fish to a mean guy proper now. Doug turns the screws a bit extra, invoking the work "perky". Because you already know that every screaming tryst is described as "perky". Spanky is doing all the homework tonight. Bad, unhealthy Spanky. We now end our pause. Paige, showing her perkiness, attempts to purchase much of the shop earlier than realizing her price range will not hold. She screams a bit too. I hope Barb did not hear that. After the industrial, and with darkness lurking exterior the windows, they arrive dwelling. Doug struggles with the video sport title "Jak and Daxter", renaming it "Jak and Dax. Ter." Barb hopes they have greater than that. Paige: "Of course We've got Greater than THAT!" I was hoping she'd say they blew all of it on champagne, a scorching tub, and some strippers. But it's a household present. Not that Paige dresses all that a lot heavier than the Everquest babe. (Though Paige has by no means been chained to an altar, a lot to the dismay of a number of the fanbase.) Doug appears to be expecting greater than six(ish) packing containers. When there isn't, he falls back into diplomat mode and says "Well, that is a lot! Cool-cool-cool-cool." Paige is $68 below budget, by the way. It's sunny again! Ty drives out to see Amy Wynn. He makes use of, of course, his super golf cart. He almost goes into the same spin he did with a toy automotive at the highest of the episode. Amy Wynn has sufficient religion not to dive for cover, the fool. The 2 carpenters commiserate about their workloads and exalt at the true Wood they're using. Amy Wynn explains Doug's need to abuse the mahogany with ebony stain. Ty, being Ty, says "Ebony and mahogany? Ain't that a tune?" Sadly, Amy Wynn does not belt-sand his face off. It's darkish again? Paige announces the fading daylight, which has started to fade after its brief stint of being dark, then gentle again. The second-shift Home Depot individuals are placing Doug's flooring in. He berates Spanky - sorry, "John" - for being out all day with Paige. Laurie exhibits off her maple floors. Cinnamon-coloured maple floors. Brown, who'da thunk it? Though it does look nice. Homework: General Doug's two conscripted grunts will probably be painting the ceiling while the house Depot hirelings do the flooring. That strikes me as a dance and a half, except everybody learns learn how to wall-stroll. Laurie desires her folks to install the floor. Oh, wait, she's just kidding! A 4-particular person Home Depot crew are doing the floor. In actuality, the homeowners must polyurethane the wall-shelf thingy and paint the molding for the room. Paige confronts Doug on the wooden staining. He refuses to discuss it, for he's the general. Except he can't tell the difference between residence and Home Depot anymore. Paige says they're both delirious. The legions are in all probability contemplating relieving him of command. Doug clearly hasn't discovered the trick of mainlining some caffeine crystals. If it would not kill you, you'll keep up for weeks! Oh, and father mutant children. Paige also uses the super golf cart to drive Laurie house, or to whatever temporary domicile is serving the position thereof. When Laurie lists the day's achievements, Paige responds with "No! Get out!" and stops the cart. Laurie finishes talking and will get out of the cart. Wow, I did not suppose Paige actually meant that figure of speech actually. Abandoning Laurie in the midst of nowhere with nothing but a digicam crew, floodlights, and whatever transportation the digital camera crew's utilizing? How will she ever get house? What a heartless bitch. No-drip paint roller: Barbie and John focus on the painted ceiling. They've faith in Doug, despite the fact that they think it is bizarre to paint a ceiling. Woah, that's saying one thing. It's saying one thing else that John's utilizing a clean white roller to paint the ceiling gray. Tiring of this feat, he additionally helps set up the crown molding. The son of Appliances are higher than leisure: Paige, with an umbrella and in several clothes from the day's filming, springs the free Tv/audio system/and many others. thing on James and Tina. Wow, I suppose self-confessed tech-illiterate John is getting a fancy-schmancy Tv as effectively. Paige calls Tina "Dude!" but forgets that the Dell Dude and his ilk made that bit of vernacular gender-impartial. She says "I simply known as you each dudes! I am delirious!" Maybe we must always relieve her of command. I know this man named Joe who's bought internet hosting expertise. Paige then springs the pc shock as effectively. Tina responds with "Cut the s---!" and is clever enough to understand that she's going to be getting related surprises. James, after Paige leaves, suggests asking for much more stuff, since all the pieces they've considered so far has been included. Ah, sensible homeowner needs to milk this for all it is value. Day 2. Well, Day 1.9999: Doug, in additional informal duds as properly, gets to lug the nonetheless-perky and still-informally-dressed Paige into the half-completed room (at 2 AM) to test the paint job. He sees spots on the ceiling. I think he is just seeing spots, period. He sends Paige residence for her magnificence sleep. Maybe he's seeing spots and thinks she's acquired acne or something. Barbie says that Paige would not want magnificence sleep. Doug kisses Paige on the cheek. Paige says, dreamily - because she's about to fall asleep - "I really feel more beautiful already!" and leaves. First Amy Wynn, now Paige. My God, I'm getting jealous of Doug. Someone shoot me. Over at Casa Del Maple Floor, one of the friendly hardworking Home Depot individuals (who work all night time on issues for everybody, I'm certain) semi-jokingly decides to take a five hour coffee break. His head's in all probability on a pike at Home Depot's company HQ right now. Paige, feeling somewhat useless with the pile of educated professionals round, finally goes residence. Her meandering speech makes me think the left facet of her brain (or her scriptwriter) has already gone to sleep. Whatever she's taking, I want some. Paige, inhumanly perky as ever, reveals up after 3 hours of sleep to begin Day 2 proper. Laurie, upon seeing the floors, sits down on them and begins.... What? Oh, no, don't do the splits. Don't do them, do not do them don'tdothem don'tdothemdon'tdothem ARRRRRRRGH! Well, not quite the splits, but whatever it was, it was neither ladylike nor within my range of comfort. Fortunately, the marble fireplace isn't giant sufficient for her to sprawl on. Doug finds his charges taking a look at some electronics and the instruction manuals of stated electronics. John claims there is no English directions, solely French. You realize he simply burned the English ones so he would not get stuck having to learn them and put the stuff together. Jester romances: Now that Doug's military has apparently left and is wantonly redecorating the countryside, I'd wish to entertain you with a little bit of purple prose. She, with gentle and adoring touch, caressed her one true love. She recited her love's virtues in detail, for all to listen to. She took this symbol of perfection into her arms and proclaimed with a breathy voice that "This, that is drapery." Yep, Laurie's drapes have arrived. And i defy anybody to write a extra accurate description of Laurie's habits in this scene. Oh, by the way, this scene additionally introduces Greg, the second of Laurie's fabric wranglers - compared to Doug's, say, none - one she probably had in an outsourced dungeon. As her newest (and solely second, not counting the ground labor) indentured slave hangs the drapes, Laurie lays some carpet, custom lower by a firm in her adopted home town. It appears to be like faintly like a big Tetris piece. Doug's timing is way off. Maybe he wants a new belt. Doug is actually in search of Barbie and John's okay for one thing. Seems that he would not just like the tile on the fireplace and would like to put some marble up. Considering that he inpergonated the tile flooring in opposition to the homeowner's earlier needs, I do not think he should begin searching for permissions at this late stage. Nice legs. Amy Wynn's engaged on the table legs. Paige has turned traitor and is saying staining the desk will not be so unhealthy. Perhaps General Doug threatened to have her shot... ... and doubtless with the nail gun he is using to nail the wainscoting onto the wall. We love Greg. We want to offer Greg a medal. As Laurie's giving considered one of her trademark Speeches About Things She Doesn't Know Much About, she says "The pleat up high - he did the pinched pleat as a result of...." Greg interrupts her. "Gathered." Laurie responds with a sideways glance and a terse "Thanks." before continuing her lecture on how the drapes have gathered pleats to make them contemporary and informal. She ends with, "So these are actual relaxed" - all of a sudden she quickens her speech - "Italian-silk-drapery-that-cost-six-thousand-dollars!" She additionally twitches like she's fighting a desire to do the Funky Chicken. Just because he does not remember it doesn't suggest he will not miss it! Doug, Paige, and Barbie sit on the ground and start unwrapping the varied kitcheny accouterments Doug purchased. So many he's misplaced observe of what he bought. Paige, perhaps nonetheless a little mentally fried after only 3 hours of sleep, begins playing with some contraption that appears like wood spoons tied collectively at their center. Not garnering sufficient attention with this, she grabs a bowl and inverts it, not noticing that there was something inside. The web effect of this is that she dumps one tissue-lined and presumably-fragile object onto one other possibly-fragile object. Doug has the horror-followed-by-a-short-tempered-scolding reaction you'd count on of somebody in his sneakers. Then Barbie pipes up and says, in a tone I have not heard since my last encounter with an elementary school tattle-tale, "She's just trying to get you over finances. She's gonna break it!" Ladies and gentlemen, we've the hat trick. First Amy Wynn with the noticed, then Doug with the sewing machine, now Paige with the accessories. She has put in a stable attempt at ticking all three of them off. Because it was, the dropped object was simply picket bowls and nothing else appeared damaged. Just a bit more fabric... Laurie's received Tina and James working on reupholstering kitchen-type chairs. She tries to freak Tina by appearing like Tina staple-gunned her finger. Wait 'til you get back to your own home and see the drapes. You'll have an embolism! Doug exhibits the difference between a $1,500 excessive-finish lamp that he received from someone in the same constructing as his art studio and a $65 thrift-shop buy. Not much, the way in which he's speaking. I suppose he doesn't want to buy from that person again.... Barbie gasps on the $1,500 price tag. Paige and Barbie choose the costly one. Just on the coloration, I must agree. Though $1,435 looks like a giant markup just for the distinction between icky mustard yellow and sky blue. Oh, and don't forget the expensive one's teardrop upper half, compared to the opposite one's cylindrical upper half. And the jangly things. Doug has saved a minimum of one in every of his legion for the second day: The artisan named Ron who's painting some plasterish trendy-artwork thingy on the wall. Flee from the market: Laurie reveals off her mass of accessories. Tina says it seems to be like a flea market. Laurie says it's far costlier than a flea market. Yeah, nevertheless it nonetheless seems like a flea market. Laurie: A $100 tchotchke remains to be a tchotchke. As if in response to this, she whips out a 19th century sunburst Italian mirror. Tina asks how old it's. Laurie instead tells Tina when she thinks it was made. "It's probably late, late 1800s. Like 1890, probably turn-of-the-century." Excuse me, but if it was flip-of-the-century would not or not it's a twentieth century sunburst Italian mirror? James, as he is achieved all episode, notably with the chairs, permits Laurie her large moment: He asks the price. About $1800. Man, she likes that quantity. Dates, costs, if it's not within the 1800 vary it is not price it. The inclusion of fabric, in fact, requires an incidental 500% markup. You've never requested for one earlier than, why begin now? Doug decides, once the countertop is in, to take the unprecedented move of asking somebody (particularly, Barbie) for an opinion. She does not prefer it. Surprise! Though, for as soon as, I agree with Barbie utterly. A sample (marble, granite, and so forth.) would look higher than solid white. Doug, performing one other marvel in a day already filled with wonders, explains his reasoning: "In order for me to put a quality countertop in here and never go together with a laminate, the one thing available is Corian Glacier White." So, was this a value issue, a list issue, what? "Give it a chance, because what's going to occur is, by the things you put on the countertops and accessorizing it, and we throw in pops of color, it is all gonna work. And, and, it is gonna... we'll put some life into this place, okay? I feel in the end you're gonna prefer it." I translated that as saying "It may be a pig, but we haven't put the lipstick on it but." Whatever you placed on it, it is still gonna be a stark white countertop. You cannot bury it all! Geometry for rank learners: Ty strikes bits of the cocktail table round semi-purposelessly as Laurie seems on. Ty appears to be going for a cube. No spanking, so we'll pop some bubble paper. Paige, cruelly snuffing out bubble paper bubbles, declares that the time has come for Tina and James to begin the elusive Paige Gift hunt. Tina and James need to get a whole dwelling leisure library. Paige seems unimpressed. Tina wins the onscreen coin toss and might be off on the hunt. Damn, no cheap sex jokes this time. Happiness is a warm gun. Give one to Doug. No, wait, give it to ME! The place that Amy Wynn took her magnum opus, the mahogany table, to be sanded, took over 3/8 of an inch - nearly A HALF AN INCH - off the desk, so now the nails that she punched into the underside of the table are displaying through the highest. Doug wants names and addresses of the perpetrators. At the very least, till Amy Wynn factors out that she must faucet in all the nails, leaving an ugly pattern. After that, Doug simply says they will not see it after he stains it. Yeah, besides there's nonetheless a bunch of nails sticking out the bottom of the desk! I need Doug's title and handle, then. Oh, wait, I have his title. Also, as a result of abusing the mahogany with stain wasn't bad sufficient, he has to rush-job it and stain the maple along with the mahogany, one thing Amy Wynn can't guess at the outcome of. Doug admits that he doesn't know either. Amy Wynn appears to be like about as ticked off as I could be if I spent two days on something and had somebody come alongside and want to screw round with it in methods even HE doesn't understand. How many butchers did you have to kill for that, then? Members of Doug's military are rubbing butcher's wax on the walls for causes I fail to grasp. Speed up! Speed up! Make pizza out of the cameraman! The limo from the purchasing trip yesterday artfully stops in front of a cameraman who's busy catching Tina's first glimpse of the limo. Yo, yo, yo! Ty 'State' Pennington is in tha hizzy! Word! The pre-commercial bumper is Ty, confirming my suspicions, in full purple and leopard-print gear, together with the bling-bling ring and phat necklace from yesterday. He seems to be like an additional from Pimps at Sea. Speaking of whoring.... Sony Vega ad number three, not counting in-show product placement. Rewind time: What? An advert for the hundred grand show? I'm WATCHING IT! Oh, it's the encore. I idly observe that that they had a black limo within the ad, and a white one in-present. I'm also reminded of what a complete goddess Amy Wynn is when she's not dressed in butch carpenter gear. Now, we have to see about not dressed, interval. Awwwww. Tina gets all choked up about the marvel of all that is occurred. Gun! I need the freaking gun! Doug, with Barbie at his aspect as a result of Amy Wynn's in all probability in the fetal position someplace, is just not happy with the "skilled" sanding on the desk. The staining has made apparent what seems like abrasion traces from the sanding. But, not like Doug, I'm additionally sad with the staining: It appears like someone took a flamethrower to the table. (Meanwhile, Ty's masterworks, the good-trying shelves and fireplace mantle, are being installed.) Doug decides to get the stain off the maple, then tape the maple up LIKE HE Should HAVE Done IN The primary PLACE, restain any unstained mahogany, then oil-rub the entire desk. Doug: I hope Birnam Wood marches to your house and kicks your ass! Ewwwww. Tina units Paige up for disaster through the use of this logic: $One thousand divided by $20/CD or DVD = 500 gadgets. First off, no one in the same universe because the RIAA pays that little for a CD newer than 1995 vintage. DVD's ain't low-cost either. Second, taxes. Finally, $1000/$20 = 50. Looks like Paige is gonna be the one being advised she's gone overbudget for a change. As they stand at the checkout, Paige (the light going on) imparts this final bit of wisdom on Tina. Paige has a future career in government price range balancing. Tina asks the cashier if they'll start over. The cashier says sure. The cashier is being paid to say yes. Tina says, cryptically, "Only favorites!" So you were going to buy motion pictures that your neighbors hated...? Hey, it pays higher than 'housewife': As the shelves go up and Laurie plans the tchotchke invasion, she asks Ty how they will ever go back to their real jobs. She hastily provides "of Trading Spaces". Ty says "Oh! I thought you meant maintenance." This can be a pleasant means of firing somebody. "It is the best thing you've got ever executed. Oh, by the way in which, pick up two weeks' pay and clear out your locker. Security will escort you out." Woah. Doppelganger moment. Paige speaks to the limo driver briefly, giving him a number of seconds on digicam to brag to the family with. (Looks.) Woah, man, he seems to be like an older model of this guy I labored with final year! Same hair and every part! HEY BUDDY! You already know A man NAMED J.C. McLEAN? MarkNathanorJohn MarkNathanorJohn, who's actually Mark, helps put the fridge in. Despite homeowner John doing all the pushing, Doug ignores him to appease the corporate Gods and proclaim that "The brand new black is orange!" (Orange as in the home Depot shirt shade.) The corporate Gods must have this one defined to them, for they assume it is some sort of African-American reference. Run Laurie over! Run a manufacturing assistant over! For God's sake, RUN Someone OVER! Paige and Tina get back, nonetheless riding in the limo, as Laurie and James look on. Whereas Laurie's normally wailing whereas Paige talks of finances overruns, now that the shoe's on the opposite foot... ... Laurie's nonetheless wailing (about time constraints) and Paige is still speaking about funds overruns. Some issues by no means change. Maybe we may get collectively on weekends and you might take orders...? Guys? Guys? General Doug's military lastly disbands. Doug makes some cryptic comments about the marble for the fireplace. It's universal because it's larger than the universe. Laurie and Paige put a giant painting on the mantle. "It's form of a universal painting, 'trigger it's a panorama, but yet it's acquired an abstract(?) quality...." I think it overwhelms the fireplace. Paige makes use of the phrase "Kick it up a notch." Emeril's gonna kick your ass, Paige. BAM! General Doug and his final two troopers are holed up in a tent in Plymouth.... Doug says it's playtime! Whee! Time to maneuver the furnishings in! What? Doug's acquired one kinky concept of fun. Holy Hell, she said "Heck"! Laurie discusses missing marble (Oy vey.) and says she knows she didn't put it in her automobile as a result of it's "heavy as heck". This deserves its own item. Well, no, but I considered this subsequent headline and couldn't pass it up: You lost them a very long time in the past, honey. Oh, it's singular. Never thoughts. After some fairly muted agonizing (for Laurie) about her misplaced marble, Ty comes alongside and reads his traces admirably, 'by accident' implicating Doug in naughtiness. Paige asks if Laurie's being arrange. Laurie says no. Obviously not, since we have tripped previous the land of probably-scripted into oh-boy-is-this-faux. Laurie goes on the hunt for Doug. Doug is outdoors hiding a tile cutter and tossing marble away from said cutter. Laurie sneaks up behind him - he should borrow some of Ty's magic early warning system mojo - and confronts him. Probably the most memorable half being when Laurie says "You can run, darling, however you cannot conceal!" That's not memorable, what's memorable is that Doug is bobbing up and down (hiding tile) and but she appears to maintain her eyes locked on where Doug's head would be if he weren't bobbing. Is the cue card guy over there or one thing? The Realm of The Archon vs. The Land of Laurie: The bloody battle for supremacy continues. James, unable to play sounding board for Laurie's worth-tallying ways, proclaims that the lamp shades Laurie purchased are ninety bucks a pop. Tina says "Well, James, we're dwelling within the Land of Laurie and that is chump change." Best quote all episode. Laurie slips Doug the tongue: That'll keep you reading. Well, really, she grabs his face, sticks out her tongue, and makes a raspberry noise. Apt punishment for stealing marble tile, to make certain. But given the amount of saliva that may throw, I think it's close sufficient to count as an intimate gesture. Paige, in fact, comes along and deflates Laurie's balloon by mentioning the electrician thing. Laurie and Paige run away laughing. Doug is left alone, confused and angry. When will the hurting cease, Paige? But that scene was great entertainment. Compared to the Ty/Amy Wynn battle, anyway. Watching Doug nonchalantly toss marble round was a deep and profound expertise of top of the range that the people of the world ought to be pressured to see for their own benefit. Quickies: Memorable moments from the final assembly montage: 1) Ty and James hook up the Tv, DVD, and so on. Except they don't use any cables. They never use any cables on reveals like these. 2) Laurie putting the Italian drapes, mirror, and chair all in one convenient place for unity. That, and so Marmaduke can destroy them all with one badly-aimed leap. Munchies! Ty, ever the gent- oh, used that line earlier than. Ty makes to bust open a bag of chips throughout Laurie's springfall-contemporary room, all whereas scuffing the coffee desk with his shoes. Doug, then again, lastly hangs the large lampshade he bought at the top of the episode. Paige pronounces that time's up while roaming round alone at the hours of darkness with a flashlight. I suppose Laurie acquired her back for that golf cart incident. And if not, I wish to discover a method to blame Laurie anyway. The before and afters make one factor apparent: The rooms swapped colors. The kitchen that was heavy on yellows and different brilliant colors is now blue-grey. The blue-grey living room is now yellow. Chestertown Buff, sorry. Repeated jokes and old puns: Ah, the pre-industrial bumper where Doug's obtained Laurie slung over his shoulder. If you are expecting some joke about Doug having Laurie all over him, then you're going to be disenchanted. Not because I'm above that, I simply could not think of 1 to trump the tongue joke. But is Laurie wearing one thing beneath her shirt or is that her unnaturally pale back I'm seeing the place her shirt rides up? Chit-chat time: I'll inform you, after two hours of Laurie in that one outfit, the crimson sleeveless quantity she has on for the chat is a welcome change. Man, and I believed I was pale. Incidentally, Ty's cocktail table is neat. A bit busy for the room, but neat. Oh, and the worth of the fabric for the curtains? $A hundred and twenty per yard. I knew she'd beat Doug. Only approach to trump silk is to grab an imported bolt of Italian fabric. Final funds: $49,300. That lost $seven hundred pains Ms. Smith drastically. My opinion on the room? Laurie standard, solely extra fabric-obnoxious. Cluttered. Pieces are, for the most half, good individually, however the room cannot handle 'em all. The flowers that vanish right at the tip of the stop-motion room redo is a nice touch, too. Reveal? Big deal: Did Barbie look not-terribly-amazed when she first opened her eyes? What part of the room was she taking a look at? John notices the Tv. He's attempting to redeem himself, good boy. Paige takes the opening to elucidate that Sony donated the Tv and related rigging - it wasn't a part of the price range. Sure as hell hope they donated the wires too. Overall response: Amazed. Laurie and Ty hid within the kitchen and watched the reveal. Their opinion? Laurie thinks they cherished it. Ty's more pragmatic: "Who wouldn't?" I feel he means the cash amount spent, not the design itself. But the statement's ambiguous enough that I give him factors for uncommon diplomacy. Oh, rattling, I can not hate him now. Ty's feedback to Laurie at the top, during her hand-clasping "I'd try this room over and over; I wouldn't change a thing." gesturama, were great. He asks, "You wouldn't lower down on a few of the knickknacks?" That and his sarcastic comment on how the room needed "yet another piece of furnishings" redeemed him. He's again in my good graces, but when it was between him and Amy Wynn, I'd still support her chopping his head off. Hate transference: Alternatively.... Judging by her "it won't match" response to the "yet one more piece of furniture" comment, Laurie did not discover Ty was being sarcastic. His simple "Oh, I do know that." was amazingly diplomatic, more so than my "He's being sarcastic, you brainless mass of Italian-fabric-draped ego!" or one thing to that effect. Let's see what he is cookin' up tonight. Today. Just right. The kitchen's good, aside from the countertop. Say what you will, the white cupboards plus the white countertop and the halogen lights is just an excessive amount of. Something must be gray, or something a little less shiny and stark. Even white with some pattern. I simply realized that they moved the stove. Man, that's gonna be a hard room for the homeowners to cook in for some time. Oh, and will the silk drapes survive that near the cooking area? And while with regards to drapes, I'd like to put in a vote against drapes that drag on the ground like this. You can not make a drape that drags look good! The table nonetheless has shades of flamethrower abuse, although some magic has converted it from godawful to tolerable. Four chairs, no sofa. None of them pointing on the Tv, which is high over the fireplace and you'd have to crane your neck to watch it. Or lie down, which you cannot, because there is not any sofa! Smooth transfer, Doug. Just needed to get a type of "aesthetic" unusability tricks in there. Paige nails it when she says the flatscreen "Looks like artwork up there!" Translation: You didn't need to get artwork, and you didn't know where to put the Tv, so you killed two birds with one stone. Final funds: $50,000 less $28. That's spectacular. It would be far more spectacular if he'd bought a painting for the fireplace and caught the Tv someplace else. Like the place that "artisan" pal of Doug's was working. Two days and all he did artwork-clever was three rectangles of paint? What the hell am I lacking right here? The dwelling room of the kitchen/living/dining room combo is a bit cramped, which makes me assume that Doug does two-and-a-half rooms for Laurie's one. Reveal? Bigger deal: They just like the room. Loads, it appears. Tina notices the kitchen's change in floor plan straight away. Paige does not appear to (or want to) decide up on it and just retains speaking about the brand new stuff. Doug and Amy Wynn just like the heat glow of giant quantities of cash and Real Wood. Final verdict: I'm not fond of both one, however mostly for usability points. Though I wasn't fond of them before, they no less than appeared such as you would not come out of them with neck cramps. We'll say okay job because of the low incidence of fatal screwups. Well.... I do hope you loved these ten thousand plus phrases, but if you happen to did not, a minimum of take comfort in my surprise at your studying the entire thing. Goodnight! Beat a hasty retreat to the main web page.

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This site and all the things on it are Copyright (C) The Archon 1999 - 2005, until otherwise famous. So there.

Trading Spaces is owned by these Banyan folks, or something. TLC's received one thing to do with it, too. I don't own those. If I did, I'd probably fire Laurie. Or have Doug in front of a firing squad.